Chestnut takes title, Nathan’s stock price plummets

Well. That was a thing.

I hope you watched the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Competition today. I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks now, and it wasn’t the least bit disappointing. As always, the commentary was brutal as they vamp for 48 minutes, but the 12 minutes of professional-level gluttony was worth it.

All eyes were on Chestnut and Kobayashi, and as expected Chestnut jumped out to an early lead. These Willis Reed and Curt Schilling comparisions were wholly ridiculous, but Kobayashi made a really impressive showing, and the two were deadlocked for the last 2:30. They blew past the old record by a full afternoon of dogs, topping out at an impressive 66.

It was a photo finish they said. They might have to go to the video they said. But as the announcer counted down from 10, everyone watching live saw the pivotal moment. We didn’t need replay—Kobayashi had a “reversal”. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat a Hot Dog again.

Some of my favorite quotes from the broadcast:
Former bologna champion of the world

The houdini of cuisine-y

They are not chanting his name [Boone], they are actually booing this man. He’s the biggest trash talker in the sport.

They call Iverson the answer, I call this guy [Philbin] the question

Undisputed pig’s feet champion of the world

He is a vegetarian

For Kobayashi to come out here and eat like this is a singluar moment of valor

Curt Schilling be damned, Kobayashi is bringing it

The entire free world is focussed on these two men

Bertoletti is dedicating his performance to Nikki Hilton—Nikki lives in Paris’ shadow and he lives in Chesnut’s shadow

This is unbelievable—absolute “dog”-fight

This will be the greatest moment in the history of professional sports

Just an emotional win, a great win for America

Well said Mr. Commentator man. Well said.

3 Responses to “Chestnut takes title, Nathan’s stock price plummets”

  1. bones says:

    watching kobayashi boot and then continue to eat was definitely more than a little gross

  2. Mark says:

    the worst part was that i kept staring because i wasn’t sure at first what was going on. where’s the 5 second delay when you need it?

    the fcc should be all over this–i’d take janet’s nipple over fluid bursting through between his fingers any day.

  3. bones says:

    seriously, some well-placed blurring might have been in order.

    We were all set to grill some hot dogs tonight too before the fireworks; but after watching that, we just went served up some hamburgers instead.

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